White
by Tame The Spaghetti
Summary: Sometimes Murdoc goes a little too far. He hates himself for it and realizes that one day he might actually kill the one he loves. Rated M just to be safe, for Murdoc losing it and some swears. A dash of violence but no sexy gay sex sadly.


Alrighty, because Murdoc and 2D are one of the cutest couples ever, here is a little something I though of while fangirling over them.

If you don't want to be sad don't read this. And no, there is no beautiful explicit sex in this one. Sorry!

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Murdoc X 2D

Murdoc hated the color white. It was boring and bland and easily dirtied. And when you had a splitting headache after a night of excessive drinking, white was way too bright of a color. And hospitals were always white. Murdoc hated hospitals too. Creepily clean and quiet except for the god awful constant beeping of machines that kept people alive in ways Murdoc would never understand.

And right now Murdoc hated all that even more now that in the center off all the sterile white and beeping machines was 2D.

The life of a superstar was hard, taxing even. With concerts, interviews, the press, and screaming fan girls everywhere you go, it's impossible to live a normal life. And that is just the social aspect of it. Add on late night after late night of song writing and endless hours of practicing and you've got a recipe for a breakdown. Especially for someone with a stupidly weak mind to begin with, like 2D.

But that was not the reason 2D was here.

2D and Murdoc's relationship was strange, just like nearly everything else about the band they were in. They called each other their best mates, were each other's drinking buddies, and spent a whole lot of time together. But Murdoc also regularly beat the shit out of 2D, called him every mean name and vulgar word in the English language, and hated 2D's guts. And 2D was absolutely terrified of Murdoc.

The beatings were a regular occurrence; it had almost become the norm. But sometimes Murdoc went a little too far.

Murdoc was the reason 2D was here.

Luckily Russel and Noodle had not been home or the situation would have gotten even worse. For Murdoc that is. He would have been beaten up by Russel, and Noodle would have been horrified by this whole ordeal and would probably have even started to cry.

Thinking back, Murdoc could not even remember what 2D had done to make him so angry. Had he given Murdoc a funny look, said something stupid, or spilt something on the carpet? Maybe it had not even been something 2D had done. All Murdoc remembered was losing it. Like a rabid animal he'd pummeled 2D, punching him anywhere his fists could reach until 2D fell to the floor. And then Murdoc had started kicking him. Even now, Murdoc could remember the sounds of 2D wincing, crying, and screaming in pain. The sound of his own laugher and harsh words echoing through the otherwise empty house. The sound of 2D hitting the floor and the sound of his foot making contact with 2D's ribcage. And then Murdoc remember the dreaded silence that came after, when he realized that 2D had lost consciousness.

Murdoc had felt for a pulse, just to make sure the bugger had not gone and died on him, and when he could not find one he panicked. He called an ambulance and the operator asked what had happened. Murdoc had frozen. He had looked down at the lifeless body of his friend and realized that he had done this, he had hurt his best mate so bad that he needed an ambulance. In a panicked voice Murdoc spewed out some lies about 2D falling down some stairs or some stupid shit like that and in no time at all the ambulance had arrived.

As the paramedics were loading 2D into the back of the ambulance they asked Murdoc to come down to the hospital with 2D. To fill out forms and be his guardian and some other dumb things. Murdoc almost laughed, he was the one who had put 2D into this mess, why in god's name would he want to come with him to the hospital?

After throwing on a shirt and a short ambulance ride later he ended up here, at this god-awful place, sitting beside a still unconscious 2D.

Turns out 2D had had a pulse, Murdoc had just missed it. He cursed himself for being so stupid, if he had not missed it then he would not have to be in this shitty hospital. And come on, as if he could really kill 2D, that bugger had survived all the beatings he'd gotten up to date, it was not like he would kick the bucket anytime soon.

But what if he did, what if Murdoc did end up killing him one of these days? What if Murdoc lost it even more than he had today and hit 2D so hard he actually stopped 2D's heart.

Murdoc shivered. The fact that he would be a murderer had not scared him as much as the fact that he would have to live without 2D. Sure he abused the singer on the daily, both physically and verbally, but a life without 2D would be so empty. Just like those stupid black eyes of his. Empty.

Murdoc turned his attention to the still living 2D, trying to get such a morbid thought out of his head. There was a blue tint spearing across 2D's left cheek and up to his closed eyelids. He did not have a black eye yet, but give it a few more minutes and he would. Underneath those bandages and ugly hospital gown were countless other discolorations, new bruises and old ones, covering so much of 2D's body that the singer was hardly white anymore.

2D's skin, that was one thing that Murdoc did not mind being white. In fact he quite liked it. So why did he keep adding color to it?

Slowly, as if not to wake 2D up, Murdoc wrapped his own boney, green hand around 2D's larger and paler one. 2D felt cold and smooth, like porcelain almost. Murdoc would never tell anyone, but he like the feel of 2D. So smooth and pure, and when he held his hand Murdoc felt calm. He could feel 2D's heartbeat through his hand, that constant rhythm like a lullaby. Or a love song.

Murdoc sighed and reached his other hand up to 2D's face. He gently ran his fingers over his cheek, making sure not to touch that bruise in the making. Last thing he wanted to do now was cause 2D more pain. Guilt, an emotion Murdoc rarely, if ever, felt, crashed down onto him. If he could just suck out all that pain he had caused 2D then maybe he would be forgiven. But that was impossible.

"Sorry Stu," Murdoc whispered almost kindly, stroking 2D's forehead with his thumb, "I really do 'ate seeing yew like 'dis."

2D' s eyes fluttered open and for a moment Murdoc was lost in those bottomless pits. He was so busy staring at 2D'e eyes that he did not pull his hands away from 2D's body, he did not remember he was still touching the singer. But 2D noticed and opened his mouth to say something but closed it right away.

And then 2D smiled up at Murdoc. A big toothy smile that showed off that gap in his teeth in all it's glory and made Murdoc's stomach drop. Those teeth were just another reminder of the pain that Murdoc had caused 2D. And now that Murdoc thought about it, so where those black eyes.

Murdoc tore his gaze away from 2D's eyes and noticed, to his dismay, that he was still holding 2D's hand and had a hand caressing 2D's forehead.

"Muds?" 2D asked weakly when Murdoc let go of 2D and stood up with a look of disgust, "Whot's up? W'ere am I?"

"Yer in an 'ospital dullard," Murdoc spat at him, "Where else do yew think you'd be?"

"'ospital?" 2D asked, looking around the room as he pulled himself up into a sitting position.

God, Murdoc thought, 2D must be in so much pain right now, why is he sitting up? Why can he not just stay down? Murdoc backed up a bit, he feared that if 2D got up anymore Murdoc would get the urge the punch him again.

"Why would I be 'ere fo'?" 2D looked back at Murdoc and understanding slipped into those black pits, "Did yew-"

"Ya I did. I'm the reason yer in the fuckin' place so dun' tell a single person or I'll beat the 'ell out of yew again!" Murdoc yelled at 2D, his voice painfully loud and venomous even to his own ears.

"Oh," 2D replied, looking more understanding than sad or scared like Murdoc had expected him to be, "Ok."

"Good. So now I can get the fuck out of 'ere," Murdoc turned on his Cuban heels and stalked towards the door, his body rigid with anger. He just needed to get out of here before he lost it. Just a couple more steps to the door, just a couple more steps and 2D would be safe.

"Can yew stay 'or a bit?"

2D's words froze Murdoc's feet to the ground. He turned around slowly and looked at the singer in complete and utter astonishment.

"I'm the one 'o hurt yew, why would yew wan' me t' stay?"

2D chewed his lip for a second, thinking real hard before speaking again, "I dunno, but I feel like i'd 'urt even more if yew didn' stay."

Murdoc was speechless. First of all because 2D was apparently more of an idiot than Murdoc had thought. And secondly because what 2D said and the way he said it hurt Murdoc, hurt him even more that he could possibly imagine. It felt like 2D had stabbed Murdoc in the heart. And Murdoc could feel every inch of that cold blade as it went further and further into that organ often mistaken for a heart. If 2D said anything more like that Murdoc would lose it.

"Yer a fuckin' idiot D," Murdoc spat before ripping open the door and slamming it closed behind him.

Finally, he was out, but as Murdoc had learnt from past experiences, a door was not enough to stop his urges to beat the shit out of 2D. He needed to put some distance between him and the singer. He started walking, he did not know here he was going, just that he had to get away.

He wandered the hospital halls, trying to think of other things but he could not. 2D, 2D, 2D, that's all he could think of and it hurt him to do so. He could feel his blood pressure rising again, and he needed to calm down. But he could not, there was too much white here, and that hurt too. It burned his eyes, it made his head spin. He needed out. He needed out NOW!

He started to run, his Cuban heels clicking with each step and echoing through the near empty hall. He found a janitor's closet and ripped it open. The darkness of the small closet welcomed him in like an old friend and he stepped in, closing the door behind him.

There was no white in here, in here it was completely black. Murdoc could see nothing. It was calming him down, this darkness and nothingness, they were comforting to him. It was like he was in a bottomless pit. Just like 2D's eyes.

Again, that damn singer weaseled his way into Murdoc mind and this time he could keep calm. It was too infuriating all the emotions that swirled around Murdoc's head when he thought about 2D. All those emotions that he had hoped alcohol could kill but realized long ago that it never would.

So Murdoc lost it.

He punched the wall of the closet. Hard. As hard as he fucking could. The concrete wall bruised Murdoc's knuckles and sent pain shooting up his arm. But he did not care. He punched the wall again and again, ignoring the cracks the bones in his hands were making and the blood that ran down his hands and onto the floor. He ignored the tears that flowed freely down his cheeks and the fatigue that had begun to sink into the muscles of his arms. He ignored it all because be deserved this pain, not 2D. 2D was a good person, a bit of an idiot, but an over all good person and Murdoc loved him for that.

Murdoc was the one who deserved this pain, deserved to pay for all the pain he had caused his singer. Murdoc was the one who deserved to be punched and kicked until he lost consciousness or until his heart stopped beating.

Out of everyone, he was the one who deserved to die.

Russel pulled up a chair and sat beside 2D's bed as Noodle placed the vase bursting with flowers on the bedside table.

"How are you feeling?" the drummer asked, looking worriedly at 2D. Damn that boy looked in terrible shape.

"Like shit, but not 'alf as bad as I'd expect."

"Well I get it. Falling down them steps at Kong would really hurt. How'd that happen anyways?"

"I- I dunno," the singer stammered. He had not fallen down the stairs? What was Russel talking about? Then 2D understood, Murdoc must have told him this story.

Russel leaned forwards and looked at 2D with a stern look, "Give it to me straight D," his voice serious, "did you really fall down some stairs or did something else happen? Did Murdoc-"

"No!" 2D cried, cutting off Russel, "Mu'doc didn't do nuffin'."

"You sure?"

2D nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat and ignoring all his common sense that screamed at him to tell Russel the truth. If he told him then maybe the beatings would stop, Russ would not let Murdoc get close enough to 2D to hurt him ever again. But that was not what 2D wanted. "I'm sure. I fell down 'em stairs. I just can' remem'er 'ow."

Russel sat back and let out a sigh of relief, "Good. 'Cause I'd beat the living shit out of him if did this to you. But speaking of Murdoc, where is he? Didn't he come with you?"

"I dunno w'ere 'e went. I dunno," 2D replied, staring absentmindedly at the flowers, watching Noodle try to straighten a flower whose stem had snapped, "But I wish 'e was 'ere."

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So how was that? Hopefully not too bad for my first fanfic. Hope you enjoyed it!


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